It's a hard knock life for us

Yesterday went a little something like this: wake up, breakfast, find chairs at the beach, suntan, read, swim, suntan, walk on the beach, drink a fruit shake, tan, read, go up to the hotel room and watch a movie, walk down the main strip, get a full body and facial aloe vera massage to cool the sunburn, eat dinner, relax more, and so on...

We contemplated going to the famous full moon party on Koh Phagnan but decided against it for a couple of reasons. First, I was way too sunburned and exhausted from my tough day (the sun is very tiring!). Also, a few people had suggested it was way over-rated, although pretty awesome if you are a 19-year-old totally into getting hammered and barfing on the sand after taking bad drugs. The group of teenagers we met at Art's Riverview lodge were totally stoked (or whatever teenagers are these days) about going. Also, Krisi had booked a kayaking trip in the marine park leaving at 7am the next morning. And I had a big day of lazy alone time planned. So, we gave it a miss.

So, today Krisi is off kayaking to her heart's content and I am taking some time away from the sun after completing a 2-hour walk up and down Chaweng beach. I'm going to go get my nails done on the beach soon, and then read my book for a while in the shade before I get tired of my alone time and want Krisi back. In the meantime, I thought I'd throw out a few thoughts and experiences that may have gotten lost in the shuffle.

First, it is crazy hot here. When it is this hot in Montreal and it rains, the air cools off. Here, rain creates steam. We're pretty much used to the heat now, and it provides a great method of self-location...if you don't have sweat streaming down your face, you're probably not outside. We've been splurging on air conditioning, which makes us "executive backpackers," but some things are just plain necessary. I don't think I have ever been so hot in my entire life.

As many people told me, the food here is wonderful. We've only had a couple of bad meals. The worst was when we ordered pizza because we weren't really all that hungry. The pizza was made ith ketchup. We figured that we deserved that one. The other bad meal was when we ate at the ferry station and ordered off the menu rather than just pointing to the "rice with two choices" buffet, like the locals were doing. Again, well-deserved. Unfortunately, the deliciousness of the food is a bit lost on us. The heat and constant water drinking has reduced our appetites to almost nil. We barely ever want to eat, and when we do, we can't finish what's on our plates. We keep thinking that ice cream sounds good, but we can never get around to wanting any. The only thing keeping us alive is mango shakes (ingrediants: one mango, ice, simple syrup, and blend) and breakfast (when we are slightly cooler and not yet full of water). And really, there's no point to any dessert when you have fresh fruit. Although, the street crepes, hot and crispy and filled with bananas and chocolates are a good bet for curing a sweet tooth.

We've gotten to learn a little bit about Thai culture. One thing we find quite funny is the Thai hatred of walking. At our first hotel in Chiang Mai, we asked the front desk person how to get to the Night Bazaar. Clearly thinking we were idiots, she responded "get in a taxi and tell him to take you to the night bazaar." When we told her we were planning to walk, she said "oh no! Impossible to walk!" We asked her how long it was and how long it would take, she told us 3 km and 2 hours. She finally relented and gave us directions, and it took only a half hour. We thought at the time it was a one-off, but any requests we have made for walking directions has resulted in the same kind of "are you insane?" response. Once, someone told us that it would take a hal-hour to walk to a location that literally ended up being on the next block. When we finally asked one of our Thai guides about it, she laughed hysterically and agreed that the Thai people hate walking because it makes them hot, and the will take their motorcycles or cars even if they are going to their neighbours house. In fairness, the streets are not much set up for walking, and we've developed nerves of steel trying to cross roads.

Shopping at the markets is really great fun, and we've found ourselves buying all kinds of stuff we never even knew we could want. We're not fantastic at bargaining, but we aren't bad. The routine is always the same. We ask for their price and they give us something crazy. We hem and haw and say it's too expensive, and they hand us the calculator to write our price. We choose something only slightly higher than half of their original price and they take back the calculator and shake their heads and laugh in a manner so similar that we almost think they all went to school for it. We laugh back, they make us another offer, we raise our price a touch, they go somewhere in the middle, we say for two, and then they give us a slightly higher price for 2, and off we go....getting two things for 2/3 the price of the original one. We've seen people haggle and argue and do the whole "walk away" thing, but we can't be bothered to be that pushy over 100 baht (basically, 3 dollers), and usually the difference is about half that.

When we tell people about the title of this travel blog, we always get a good laugh, and we sometimes get a good story about stupid travel advice. The best story was from our river guide, Ahey, who told us about some friends who had shown her a poorly translated travel guide to Thailand which warned to be very careful about snakes. The book said that many snakes were dangerous and sometimes could be found in toilet seats and in beds (note: we have only seen about 2 snakes, and both were in the jungle, exactly where they belonged). The worst snakes, the book warned, were the dreaded "snakes in disguise." We all laughed hysterically as we came up with images of the wide variety of disguises a snake could wear to fool tourists, including Tuk Tuk driver, fruit shake vendor, and tour guide.

Anyway, that's about it for today. I'm off to get my nails done. Tomorrow we are heading to Koh Tao for 6 days to get our PADI scuba certification, which will take about 4 days. From what I have heard, Koh Tao is incredibly beautiful and a lot more relaxed than Koh Samui, which is basically a commercialized beach town. I'll update when I can. Until then, avoid prison, and beware of snakes in disguise.